Jen’s Gift From God
In 1993, a blizzard hit my area. I was married, and we had a 2-year-old son. During the blizzard, when we were all stuck in our homes and enjoying time with family, I discovered that my husband was having an affair. My life started to spiral out of control.
My husband left, and I lost his protection. I cried out to God for help to restore my marriage, but I didn’t know how to listen. I was immature, my heart was broken, and my mind was not fixed on God.
Betrayed, Then Attacked
Soon after, I had a car that needed repairs, and a friend from work would fix it and only charge me for parts. When I went to his house to have some work done, he raped me. My life continued to spiral out of control. Every night I cried for my husband and over my circumstances. My mind was full of chaos.
After two months’ time, I could no longer ignore the pregnancy symptoms I was feeling. I went to Planned Parenthood to find out how I could have an abortion. After all, that’s what you do when you’re raped, right?
That’s when the church and community say it’s okay to have an abortion.
Well, I had done such a great job of blocking the timeline of the rape from my mind that I was sent for an ultrasound to find out how far along I was in the pregnancy. I walked into a small office with only a receptionist and technician. The waiting room was empty.
During the ultrasound, the technician was so excited about my baby and told me several times, “See how your baby is growing? Look at your baby’s heartbeat, head, and arms and legs.” She gave me a photo, and on the top it read, “Your Baby.”
I had ultrasounds with my previous pregnancy and didn’t remember the technician saying “your baby” over and over again. I went out to my car and cried—I did a lot of that back then—and I held that little picture in my hand. I remember putting my hand on my belly and saying, “God, you say every child is a gift from you. If you want me to do this, I will, but I’m going to need your help to get through it.”
A Gift From God
God carried me through the pregnancy. He allowed me a job transfer so I no longer worked with that man. He opened doors, allowing me to move back to my mom’s community.
I gained 100 pounds while I was pregnant, and the day I delivered the doctor rushed through the process, causing my pelvis to split and the baby’s shoulder to dislocate. God used those circumstances for his good. My new son and I spent five days in the hospital together.
My mom’s church organized meals for us through the first two weeks, since I wouldn’t be able to walk without a walker and now needed to care for two children under 5 as a single mom. When those ladies brought meals, they would bring a toy for my oldest son and visit with us, and pray with me. When I was well, I felt obligated to go to church, since those ladies did so much to help us.
God Is Faithful
God used those ladies to bring me back to him. I have never stopped going to church again. God is faithful and never gives up on me. He drew me to himself.
I learned to fix my affection on him—Colossians 3:2-4: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (NIV)
I have been raised with Christ from the death of that valley I was in, and God has led me to where I am today. He has gifted me with a son who is serving the Lord in music and drama ministry for youth groups. He has brought healing to my life and used that son to do it.
When I went back to the ultrasound facility to thank the lady a few weeks later, I was told that there had never been anyone in that office who resembled the person I described and that they did not do ultrasounds. They were sure I had the wrong facility. I am sure that God sent angels to show his great love to me and to my baby.
My son is now 17 and knows that God chose his life and sent angels for him, and he knows God has a plan for his life.